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Uncle Dragon Says! 

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Forum Home > Uncle Dragon Says: Set 8 > Uncle Dragon Says: Set 8

Uncle Dragon
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176. Uncle Dragon Says: If it's light when you wake, that means someone forgot to turn off the light outside.

Written on 8/28/2015

177. Uncle Dragon Says: If you scream, we will hose you down with Holy Water.

Written on 8/28/2015

178. Uncle Dragon Says: Something to ponder! If it's the name game, does that mean I can call you anything I want and you aren't allowed to get mad? (UD: The name I choose for you is Foo-Foo Bunny Sloppy pants.)

Written on 8/28/2015

179. Uncle Dragon Says: If you see a lemon, you have to slap your co-worker. (UD: They probably did something that deserves it anyway. Take a second slap just to make yourself feel better.)

Written on 8/28/2015

180. Uncle Dragon Says: If you see a lime, slap a cookie. (UD: Then the cookie will crumble and you get the satisfaction of knowing an old man fell out of bed.)

Written on 8/28/2015

181. Uncle Dragon Says: We are close to discovering that grape shit. Clarisse, was wrong. Grapes aren't always purple. We are still trying to figure out how the hell she knew about aubergine. We will get back to you when we have more on it. We are now working on that white and cream crud. If you have any information, let us know. We aren't sure if it's mayo or...

Written on 8/28/2015

182. Uncle Dragon Says: If you fart, they won't come.

Written on 8/28/2015

183. Uncle Dragon Says: If it's running, you should just get a gun and shoot it.

Written on 8/28/2015

184. Uncle Dragon Says: Soap Operas! A story line that can be flushed where the kids age faster than the stars. This is also the place where they can still have kids at 100 years of age. Who would have thought?

Written on 8/28/2015

185. Uncle Dragon Says: If you think you see three little blue men walking around, go have Chinese food.

Written on 8/28/2015

186. Uncle Dragon Says: If you are doing laundry it means the dog ran away. (UD: The cat refuses to leave.)

Written on 8/28/2015

187. Uncle Dragon Says: This is an action news at 9. The headline is sad to tell. The One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater has died this morning. It would appear that one of our numbers fed him a mime painted grape or aubergine. More on this after we are done with the colors blush and bashful!

Written on 7/19/2015

188. Uncle Dragon Says: If you wash the dishes, the gnomes will shit on the floor.

Written on 7/21/2015

189. Uncle Dragon Says: If tomorrow never comes, we can blame the dog. If we tried to blame the cat, they would have an attitude. Oh wait, they already have an attitude.

Written on 7/21/2015

190. Uncle Dragon Says: If you throw it on the floor, go have pizza.

Written on 7/21/2015

191. Uncle Dragon Says: If the young man is walking around singing, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" then you should run a red light.

Written on 7/21/2015

192. Uncle Dragon Says: Don't forget the unicorns or Tom Cruise won't be a good actor. I'll just cue in the crickets.

Written on 7/22/2015

193. Uncle Dragon Says: Wait until it's storming outside and then throw that little red headed annoying girl out of the house and see how she likes hearing that stupid song!

Written on 7/22/2015

194. Uncle Dragon Says: If dead men tell no tales, does that mean they tell heads instead?

Written on 8/16/2015

195. Uncle Dragon Says: If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then I'm sure that garlicky farts will keep everyone away. (UD: It could work.)

Written on 8/18/2015

196. Uncle Dragon Says: If you have a flat tire on your vehicle, you should learn to not run over so many mimes all at once. (UD: Their bones do damage you know.)

Written on 8/28/2015

197. Uncle Dragon Says: If the cannibals say it's "Shake and Bake!" we won't say, "And we helped!" (UD: That’s because we are the main course!)

Written on 8/28/2015

198. Uncle Dragon Says: If you world gets turned upside down, you should probably stop standing on your head.

Written on 8/28/2015

199. Uncle Dragon Says: When you are bored, throw rocks at enraged bulls. It will give you something to do.

Written on 8/28/2015

200. Uncle Dragon Says: When you go cow tipping, they fall over.

Written on 8/28/2015

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Uncle Dragon/Founder

April 5, 2017 at 5:28 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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